the life-changing magic of tidying up...

... the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing

I finished the life-changing magic of tidying up.   I stumbled across it on Amazon and thought it seemed interesting, especially since I have a passion for organizing and storing and all those other things that go along with an

obsession for HGTV.

This book was not at all what I expected.  There was no long discussion about how to best store your wrapping paper.  There were no recommendations for the perfect storage boxes.  And no descriptions of how to fold a fitted sheet.

Instead, the book was all about how to tidy your house so that you have a positive relationship with your stuff.  This sounds super new age, but the idea is pretty simple, only keep the stuff that brings you joy.  Her believe is that if it doesn't bring you joy, you shouldn't be taking up space in your house with it. 

So, for instance, one of her clients wanted to have a space that when she came home it was sparse, like a hotel room, so that instead of cleaning, she could burn aromatherapy oils, do yoga, and read.   She wanted to be surrounded by feminine, relaxing things.  Anything that didn't meet those needs was "extra."

Here are some of the things that I took from the book:

1. My criterion for deciding to keep an item is that we should feel a thrill of joy when we touch it.  But it is human nature to resist throwing something away even when we know we should.

The author believes that when starting a tidying effort, deciding what to keep is the most critical piece.  But you have to be selective, and touch each piece, to decide what are the pieces that bring you joy when you use it, see it, or wear it.  The tangible piece of this was the important piece.  I thought this was bullshit, but I did clean out my closet and there were pieces that I touched that made me happy and pieces that didn't.  It totally worked.

2. As you reduce your belongings through the process of tidying, you will come to a point where you suddenly know how much is just right for you.

This point is again focusing on the intuitive piece of the cleaning process.  You will find a place where the amount of stuff you have is "just right".  It isn't a matter of the "50 items every woman must own" or anything like that from Pinterest.  It is what is right for you and what brings you joy.  Knowing that having stacks of crap everywhere is probably not bringing you joy.

3. The fact that you own a surplus of things that you can't bring yourself to discard doesn't mean you are taking good care of them.  In fact, it is quite the opposite.  By paring down to the volume you can properly handle, you revitalize your relationship with your belongings.

This section of the book was all about how you make your belongings feel.  So, for instance, if you are the kind of person that shoves your belongings into storage bins not to be seen for years, you are neglecting your belongings and making them feel sad, alone, and unwanted.  So doesn't it make sense to move them onto a better place?  And the things that remain know that they are a cherished part of your home, worthy of being well-maintained.

4. The essence of effective storage is this:  designate a spot for every last thing you own.  If you ignore this basic principle and start experimenting with the vast range of storage ideas being promoted, you will be sorry.  Those storage "solutions" are really just prisons within which to bury possessions that spark no joy.

5. Empty your purse every day.

This was one that made sense to me because I always think that I should be switching out my purses with my outfits.  So, for instance, if you have a basket by the door with your "essentials" then you can walk up the stairs, put your shoes away with your purse, and the next day select your purse with your essentials.  Also, prevents your poor purse from becoming a burial ground for trash as you are cleaning it out daily.  And really, if you do it every day, this is 2-3 minutes per day to make your purse, which travels with you all day, an item of joy.

6.  The process of facing and selecting our possessions can be quite painful.  It forces us to confront our imperfections and inadequacies and the foolish choices we made in the past.

I was inspired by reading this book to clean my closet that day.  This statement is so true.  It reminded me of clothes I bought because I was definitely going to lose weight.  It reminded me of money I spent that I should have saved. And it reminded me of time that I had spent acquiring stuff that could have been spent doing something more worthwhile to the person I want to be.  All that from cleaning out my closet.

7.  Selecting and discarding one's possessions is a continuous process of making decisions based on one's values.

I get this.  Hopefully the lessons from this book resonate with me next time I go shopping, particularly for clothes.  Is this an item that is based on my values?  Or the person I want to be?  Is the joy going to come from the acquisition or the actual ownership?

Halfway through the book, I was thinking that I wouldn't recommend it, but by the end, I was looking at my "stuff" in a totally different way.  It is a quick read and if it inspires you to start to take a joy-based approach to cleaning, all the better.

Now to decide if I keep the book or send it on its way!

Setbacks and dieting

I am currently at the same weight I was when I started Weight Watchers in 2006.  At that time, I had successfully accomplished almost a full Freshman 40 from college and by the way, once I motivated myself to Weight Watchers... it was easy.

Once I got in the mindset- the weight just melted away, all 30 pounds of it.  I had a good routine.  I chopped fruit and veggies at night.  In spite of the negative health impacts of Smart Ones and Lean Cuisines - I ate them religiously.  I didn't not work out one single time the entire time.

Today, the weight loss is not that easy.  Ten years and one baby later, my metabolism is not what it used to be.  Set backs are also frequent.

So far this year, I have had business travel, a whole house with the flu (btw... since when does a bout of the stomach flu NOT result in weight loss.  WTF) and most recently, a flooded downstairs due to a busted waterline.

I started the 21 day fix, offered by Team Beach Body on Monday.  Monday to Thursday were a perfect example of flawless 21 Day Fix execution.  Workouts were completed.  With significant soreness, but dammit, they got done.  And I even under-ate some on my food allowance.  

And then the waterline busted.  Friday- breakfast and lunch were perfect. Afternoon snack was eaten on the phone with our insurance company surrounded by an inch of water.  Dinner was pizza and beer at the neighbor's house.  Oops.  Setback one.

Side note:  This is also an example of an "Awwww....."  moment.  I had four of my friends immediately volunteer their houses and a great set of parents whose solution was "Jump in the car, it's 70 degrees in Florida"

Saturday I recommitted myself to the diet.  Breakfast - Check.  Lunch - Check. 2 workouts completed.  But after a full day of setbacks with house reconstruction, one four-year-old who was struggling with keeping it together, and other annoyances, when we decided to have community dinner- the question was... should I have spaghetti that is delicious and prepared by someone else or go into the construction zone to make something healthy.  Spaghetti won.  Setback two.

So I can look at this two ways- I have been on the 21 day fix and failed 2 of six days.  Or can can look at it as I have had to make a choice to eat healthy for 18 meals and I have made the right choice for 88.9% of those meals.  I'm pretty sure that is a solid B.  If you factor in 100% success for workout completion, my final grade would be a 94%, or an A. I'm on the diet honor roll.  So doesn't feel so bad.  Perspective counts.

Bottom line- I could have given up after the pizza on Friday night.  I could say I failed the 21 day fix.  But the lesson, I think, is that you just have to wake up the next morning and keep going.  Pool time and cute bathing suit- here I come.

January Goal Recap

Fitness

1. Lose five pounds.  Nope- two pounds!

2. Do Couch to 5K three days per week.  I made it to Week Five, Day 2!

 

Extracurricular:

1. Finish 15,000 words of novel. Finished 6,500 words on the way back from PDX.

2. Read 2 planned novels.  Finished The Idiot and On the Road.

3. Blog two times per week.  Yep!

 

Alex:

1. Redo Alex's room.  Superheroes in the room and bathroom.

2. Finish one Shutterfly book.  Yes!  Birth of Alex now documented.

 

Professional:

1. Read book on blogging.  Done!  And as an extra, I also read Fascinate by Sally Hogshead.

2.  Start Coursera Reason and Persuasion class.  Nope- I dropped the class.  The teacher was disorganized and it was making me crazy.  Signed up for another class that starts on February 2.

 

Other:

1. Finish homeschool plan for Q1.  I made it through February.  Not too bad.

2. Complete 2015 action plan.  Got through intention setting, but not all the way through the action plan.

Overall, a great month!

February: Focus on Balance

For the month of February, my intention that I am setting is to achieve balance in my life.

I left my position at Daimler in order to achieve more work-life balance, but balance is an intention that I need to set for all of the aspects of my life.

Fitness and Nutrition

First, balance is important in my fitness and nutrition goals.  I lost three pounds on the 3-day refresh, and had reached my 5 pound weight loss goal for the month of January.  But on Friday morning, 24 before my weigh in, when I got on the scale, I had gained 3 pounds back.  I was devastated.  My rationale mind knows that I didn't gain back three pounds. I didn't go crazy eating or anything, it is water weight.  But obsessing about the scale is not balance. 

So, as part of my goals for February, I am going to put away my scale for the month and focus on creating a healthy lifestyle.  I want to achieve balance.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.  Psychology Today

I just started taking a class on Meditation and Mindfulness that I purchased on Audible to listen to while I am on the treadmill.  In the first class, that I listened to today, he makes the point that when your mind is left free to rest, most people focus on either the past or the future, instead of fully participating in the present.  My focus is on trying to be mindful of my present experience, rather than running from busy work to busy work.

The Life-Changing Art of Tidying Up

First, this is not going to be an aspect of balance that involves a massive home-cleaning effort.  I'm saving that for when it isn't freezing cold out in my garage and in my attic.  The  Life-Changing Art of Tidying Up is a book that outlines some of the basics of creating a home that creates the type of life that you want to live.  The main premise is that you should only keep items that bring you joy.  Joy to have, joy to wear, etc. etc.  My focus, in my search for balance, is to understand what are the things that I have that bring me joy and bring me balance.

Man maintains his balance, poise, and sense of security only as he is moving forward.  Maxwell Maltze

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony. Thomas Merton

Balance is good, because one extreme or the other leads to misery, and I've spent a lot of my life at one of those extremes.   Trent Reznor

A Year of Good Intentions

In one of my January blog entries, I talked briefly about intention setting for the year.  2015 is going to be my year of purpose.  In thinking about the process for the year, I thought it might be a good idea to have an overall theme for the month, to focus some of my actions.  I did some web-searching for some intention words and here is the 2015 calendar I came up with:

January:  Purpose

February:  Balance

March:  Possibility

April: Creativity

May:  Mindfulness

June:  Wellness

July:  Dream

August:  Courage

September:  Authenticity

October:  Space

November:  Gratitude

December:  Joy

Here is a list of 30 intention words to help you get started if you want to try this out for 2015.  Enjoy!

2015 Reading List

As part of my goals for 2015, I wanted to read two books per month from the list of 1000 Books to Read Before You Die.  Here is the list I came up with:

January
On the Road by Jack Kerouac
The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky

February
Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

March
The Cement Garden by Ian McEwan
Patterns of Childhood by Christina Wolf

April
Justine by Marquis de Sade
The Cider House Rules by John Irving

May
Things by Georges Perec
Possessing the Secret of Joy by Alice Walker

June
Sentimental Education by Gustave Flaubert
Fanny Hill by John Cleland

July 
The Thousand and One Nights (author unknown)
A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift

August
In a Glass Darkly by Sheridan Le Fance
Love's Work by Gillian Rose

September
Walden by Henry Thoreau
Contact by Carl Sagen

October
Lady Number Thirteen by Jose Carlos Semoza
The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga

November
Passing by Nella Larsen
Exercises in Style by Raymond Queneau

December
The Master and the Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
The Children's Book by A.S. Byatt

For the record, I am still trying to make it through Anna Karenina.  I have made it so far I shouldn't turn back.  And yet it is so, so long.

On the GoodReads App, which I highly recommend, you can join a group where you commit to reading a certain number of books in the year.  My goal is 30 books- so these 24 + 6 extras, so either business books or (Gasp!) books for fun.

Happy Reading!

Three Day Refresh Review- Effective, but Not Fun.

I started the Three Day Refresh program by Team BeachBody on Thursday of this week.  It was part of a Team BeachBody challenge pack that I had ordered, including a 3 Day Refresh, 21 Day Fix, and a month of Shakeology. 

I had lunch with my friend Melissa while I was in Portland, she's a coach, I want to lose some weight, the rest is history.

The whole point of the program is that you eat really, really clean for three days, eating primarily shakes and some fruits, veggies and healthy fats.  All of the stuff arrives in a big box and it really is like Christmas.  

I decided to start on Thursday because Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were days that I didn't have a ton to do.  This ended up being a really good call- it takes a lot of focus to eat about once an hour, on the day that I was out and about a missed some of the snacks and ended up hungry.

Observations:

1. The Fiber Sweep takes like hell.  Like the only way to get through it is to chug it over the kitchen sink and hope nothing comes back up.  It has chia seeds which immediately start to gel up, so texture is the worst.  It's only 8 oz though, so you can make it.

2. Shakeology and Vanilla Fresh shakes are pretty good. And they really do make you feel full.

3. The fruit, veggie, and healthy fat servings you are allowed are bullshit.  Half a banana, 5 baby carrots, 1 1/2 tsp of peanut butter. You might as well not bother.  I stuck to it for the most part, but there was one day I was starving and ate the other half of the banana.  Breaking the law!

4. Dinner Recipes: There are nine different dinner recipes that you are allowed to choose from, and I hated all of them.  First of all, anything with a cucumber got thrown out immediately.  I tried the spinach salad, but the little bit of lemon juice and olive oil you were allowed to add still just made it taste like dry salad.  Which is nasty.  This is where I really went outside the rules.  I stuck to the dinner recipes on day one.  On Day 2 I had a whole tomato with my shake.  On Day 3, I had a banana.

5. Make sure if you drink coffee or soda prior to the refresh that you take the optional green tea breaks during the day.  You are going to be hungry- you don't also want to have a massive caffeine headache.  I skipped the tea on Day 3 and regretted it.  Just do it.

Over the three days I lost 3.6 pounds, way more than I would have been able to lose otherwise.  Super psyched about it. The 3 day refresh was not fun at all for someone who loves to eat as much as I do, but I would definitely do it again if I had a short term weight loss goal I needed to meet or was about to go on vacation.   

Some things to remember:

• You can do anything for three days.
• If you finish the refresh and dive face first into the refrigerator, you did it for nothing.  Trying to pace myself this morning.  Because I want to dive face first into the fridge.

To a happy, healthy week!